What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops