What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...