What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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