What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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I'm rick james bitch

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Jersey Shore.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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