What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What's just not right? Left

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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