why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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