who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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38 studio's new game... Finance City

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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