A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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The cream, it is coming

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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hi michael

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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