two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

The truth is he loves her!!

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

Knock, knock. Door opened.

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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