What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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