why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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