why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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jews

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops