friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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