A cat playing laser tag.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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