Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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