A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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A gay man watches football.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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