Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

thumb_up thumb_down

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops