Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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