What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yellow People !!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops