An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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