Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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