Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

a dyslexic man walked his god.

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...