happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops