How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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