- Anti Joke

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOL Passed Out Photos Roulette Reactions Search Engine Suggestions Shit Brix What The Face Check out our iPhone app! Twitter Rss Popular Newest Random Write Your Own! . Anti Joke logo . Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleSwitch to visual puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Wtface-com-857e5e What The Face Adfailure-com-48cdc7 Ad Failure Im_disappoint I AM DISAPPOINT A-day-at-the-mall-94246 Shit Brix Stallbangs-doesn-t-enjoy-hanging-out-with-barry-387fac Scumbag Steve 1222625996122_129 DIY Fail Quotes From Other Sites “Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot..” via: Clarksonisms “earphones for the deaf ?.” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Do you honestly think you're fucking funny, fucking with my friends? Seriously, you're a fucking ugly little cunt mate, and if I ever see you....” via: ethugtxt .. available on the app store! Anti-Pickup Line Clarksonisms Pointless Inventions Pointless Super Powers Things You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops