What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

i saw amango it splootered

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...