What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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