Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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