How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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no rasist joks

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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