How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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You having friends.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Faithful men.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Knock Knock.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops