How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

God is real.

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

Suck pussy

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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