How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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