Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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My cat just died.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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