Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops