Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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