Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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