Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Justin Bieber

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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