Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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YOU

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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