How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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