How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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your life

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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civil rights

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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batman farted so hes retarded

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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