How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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