What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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