Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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Chuck Norris.

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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