Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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