What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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