Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops