Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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No it doesnt..

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops