Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops