There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Pain Olympics.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops