What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops