Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops