what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

FUCK YOU

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

A dancer walks into a barre

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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