Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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