"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

Whats brown and smells bad poo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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