Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

why did your mum die young because she had canser

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

I have cancer. And you're next.

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...