I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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