(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What page are you on The gay page.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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