dat shoe shine tho

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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