What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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