How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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