Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Badabing.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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