A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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