What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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time to spruce up!

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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