Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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