What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

12 in general

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...