When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

Phew... it's gone.

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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