If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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