knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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NEVER

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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