When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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