How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops