while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Suck pussy

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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The child was fired from his job.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops