Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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