A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Bitch

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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