A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops