Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops