one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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your no better than a cockroach

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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