Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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