In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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