what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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p

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops