i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

A baby seal walks into a club.

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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