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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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