Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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